There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
