He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
