question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish you could order shots online.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize