I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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