Will you blow on my dice?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
