well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
