i just google imaged poop.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I party with great urgency now.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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