Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
