is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
