I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
