My room smells like vodka and shame
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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