He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What a dumb baby whore.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Randomize
