It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
