Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So vagazzling was a success
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
