from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
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While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
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I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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