apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
