Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
