I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
