Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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