he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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