I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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