Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just found puke in my bra..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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