just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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