that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
