I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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