I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
