You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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