Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
