In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
