Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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