my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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