I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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