I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
