I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
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