Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
