Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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