That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
