I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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