What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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