Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
