ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
