yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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