Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
