Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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