She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
