theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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