he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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