just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
