I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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