I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
