do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
