My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Less talking, more tequila
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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