did you get engaged???
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
