another moral hangover. fuck.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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